1. extraterrestrialenby:

    thecellinmybrain:

    zephersspace:

    romanticfaeriecheck:

    moonlitcandie:

    hoereoreo:

    podfic-chicklet:

    gryffinslitheravenpuff:

    i-do-it-for-the-horde:

    stark-raving-hazelnut:

    theamazingshitpostqueen:

    immax-maybe:

    mossolantern:

    pride-potato:

    directlyat-thesun:

    missmamakitty:

    stephanielovess:

    anxietyproblem:

    What’s something that gives your anxiety?

    Making Phone calls

    people

    socializing

    going into a public place

    talking to someone i don’t know

    going to a party for my parents’ friend

    STANDING IN THE CHECKOUT LINE AT TARGET WHILE MY MOTHER IS GRABBING THE MILK

    walking to the bus stop after leaving a little later than usual and worrying i’m gonna miss the bus

    something unplanned being added into my schedule

    having to order first when i’m in a group (even if i already know what i want)

    image

    everything makes me scared… idk why.

    “Can I speak with you for a moment?” “I need to talk to you.”

    My stomach just drops when I hear those words.

    if you give me time to over think, then i can easily get anxious over ✨a n y t h i n g✨

    Felling tired as hell but then when going to bed I start to fear I’ll have nightmares and suddenly can’t fall asleep, nbd 👍🏼🤷‍♀️

    My favourite: “I need to talk to you. How about Friday next week?”

    Suuuure, let me suffer for over a week, catastrophize, and overthinking everything I’ve ever done in the last five years😒

    getting notifications

    attitude or mood shifts

    falling asleep when I’m alone (sometimes, I’m paranoid about ghosts these days I know I’m sorry 😭)

    using Ubers and all

    giving presentations

    confrontation/serious conversations

    Arguments fights someone yelling at me, raising voice

    going to the doctor’s office and sitting in the waiting room.

    Waking up in the middle of the night.

    Receiving messages, notifications, calls….

    Outings.

    Shopping.

    People.

    Silence.

    Noise.

    ✨ e x i s t e n c e ✨

    image

    Originally posted by iglovequotes

    This list is too long, and every item is relevant.

    yeeeeep

    (via anxietyproblem)

     

  2.  

  3. kaijuno:

    kaijuno:

    Not to slut shame but some of you could definitely be sluttier

    I posted this on Facebook and a lot of like my parents middle aged friends commented saying shit like “I’m TRYING” so wholesome

    (via zackisontumblr)

     

  4. chaos-gremlin-extraordinaire:

    I have surfed for a *long* while through ADHD content and always, always when I came across stuff like undiagnosed people being called ‘lazy’ for their executive dysfunction I would relate but always in a distant 'ha ha! That happens! ’ kind of way.

    It has only occured to me recently (from recent forceful reminders) that /maybe/ people don’t actually realize that it’s a little deeper than that?

    Cause when someone calls you lazy after you quote ADHD at them, they don’t mean in it in a 'oh, it’s a one time thing’ way. They are literally saying that all your life, all the things you’ve struggled in silence with like regular chores, personal hygiene, lack of concentration,etc. Is a personal choice that you make and continue to make and could stop at any time if you wanted to. It’s someone making up their mind about your intelligence, commitment, abilities and character and seeing your challenges as something that could be overcome easily and that you are choosing not to do so when you so clearly have the ability to.

    And can I say that it sucks.

    Because how are you to begin asking for help when everyone believes you can help yourself?

     

  5. Baby Boomers had a cinnamon challenge they won’t talk about that may be the reason why toothpick-chewers in classic movies are seen as cool

    insipid-drivel:

    My mother is 65 and right bang in the middle of the Baby Boomer generation, but she’s very cool and does her best to be and stay woke, keep up with shifts in vernacular, and takes care to do things like make sure she’s strict with getting pronouns correct, etc. Her meme game is a little lagging, and she only just discovered the cinnamon challenge. I was surprised to see her… not surprised. If anything, she seemed a bit pleased and said, “Yep, kids are still kids.”

    I stared at her for a while. “What do you mean?” I asked her. She’s seen other ancient memes like planking and never had that reaction before. Seeing the cinnamon challenge was downright satisfying to her.

    She looked me dead in the face and said, “Sweetheart, I grew up in a time when you could get crystal meth over the counter at the pharmacy. They were called diet pills then.”

    “Whaaaaaaat.” I knew that Nazi Germany passed meth around like candy, but that was in the 30′s and 40′s. I had just figured it had been prohibited already in America by the time my mom was growing up. “Did you have a cinnamon challenge or something in school?” I finally asked.

    She half-nodded and half-shrugged and said, “Similar. You couldn’t have candy or gum in school when I was growing up. It was about 1969 in San Francisco and parents were starting to limit cigarette smoking to kids under 18, too, so a lot of my school friends were squirming all day long with nothing to at least chew on.”

    “What did they do instead, mom?” I asked suspiciously, because she would not bring this subject up after I had explained to her that the cinnamon challenge was dangerous because of how horrible it is to accidentally inhale it into your airways.

    “Well… Back when I was in school, you could get cinnamon extract from the pharmacy. It was just cinnamon suspended in canola oil, and you could use it for cooking or treating a skin fungus. Stuff like that,” she explained. “So the boys at my school would take toothpicks and dip them in the cinnamon extract. That’s why chewing on a toothpick was so common back then. If you were trying to quit smoking or couldn’t have chewing gum, you could carry a little bottle of flavor extract about the size of a bottle of nail polish in your pocket and dip a toothpick in it. Then you’d have something to chew on that the teachers hadn’t banned, and you could hide them in your cheek easily.”

    “So what did the boys at your school get into, mother?” I asked again. We were still on the topic of ridiculous memes. This had to go somewhere.

    She smirked. “Well, after a while, the boys started noticing that the cinnamon extract from the pharmacy was spicy. It burned. So it started to get to be a challenge to see how many cinnamon toothpicks you could hold in your mouth at once. It got so bad that kids would get blisters and burns on their mouths from it, and you could tell if someone had a few of them tucked in their cheek in class because their face would turn red from the neck up like a cartoon.”

    “Why have I never heard about this?”

    She wasn’t done. “Finally, the teachers figured out what everyone was doing and it became a pretty big deal. Cinnamon extract started getting banned or restricted to adults. Then they banned toothpicks for sale to anyone under 18, too. That’s why it was a sign of being cool, particularly among guys, to walk around with a toothpick in your mouth. It either meant you had a fake ID or that you were 18.”

    I stared at her for a long time. “Mom, why didn’t they just use hot sauce? It was California. Didn’t you have peppers?”

    Without missing a beat, my 65-year-old mother replied, “Honey, we were white as fuck.”

     

  6. samuraiko:

    gallusrostromegalus:

    gallusrostromegalus:

    gallusrostromegalus:

    gallusrostromegalus:

    gallusrostromegalus:

    Today’s Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

    • Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.
    • OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg
    • Ok.
    • I somehow summon a week’s worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them
    • A hotel
    • An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away
    • A perscription refilled from 2 states away
    • and A Pizza
    • Go me.
    • But then it’s 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn’t meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say “CRYPTID” in Gothic Font on my ass.
    • So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards
    • #nailedit
    • It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.
    • it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend’s new phone except the new guy doesn’t know how to operate the “sign for package” device, and the old guy that’s supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn’t actually know how to operate the device either.
    • by the way
    • it is already
    • over 100 out
    • it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone
    • when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.
    • he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat’s room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.
    • He’ll be fine
    • He’s a cattle dog, they’re legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.
    • but
    • more to the point
    • i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside
    • has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??
    • And
    • I got other shit to do today.
    • namely.
    • I’m seeing a realator
    • The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons
    • I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her
    • at least
    • I think that’s what it is because what she sends me is:
      “🏡⏰12:00 ❔”
    • With the time typed in the middle like that.
    • She is, according to her profile, at least 80.
    • so I reply “😎👍”
    • and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.
    • She’s on an iPhone so half of them don’t even translate across platforms
    • It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.
    • in emoji
    • instead of like
    • literally any other format
    • I am
    • FASCINATED
    • and simply must meet the woman so if I don’t come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I’m taking the Corgi with me as protection so I’ll see y'all later.

    Update:

    • It’s not fairies
    • It’s Doris.
    • might be about to get a sewing machine and/or start an ACAB riot.

    Ok, so:

    • I’m going to see a prospective house because due to various circumstances, I’m probably going to be moving to the other side of a major metropolitan area in the next few months, but that’s not important.
    • I get to the house
    • I get a text from the realtor
    • The realtor is not the person who has been texting me in emoji
    • The person texting me in emoji is the homeowner, who the realtor says will let me in if I want, she’s running late.
    • Sure
    • Why not
    • I put Herschel on leash and go to the front door
    • As much crime as he commits at home Herschel The Hanukkah Goblin has terrific public manners, and is Very Cute so I’m about 90% sure the emoji fairy is going to let me take him through the house
    • Door opens.
    • 90-something blue haired old lady with a spine like a question mark and glasses that could be used as telescope lenses opens the door.
    • “OH [Gallus]! How lovely to see you!”
    • This woman clearly knows me because she remembers my anniversary was last week and that my sister is back from Australia.
    • Problem is
    • I know about 500 geriatric ladies with blue hair, scoliosis and extreme prescription glasses, because I am a member of 2 quilt guilds, the scientific illustration guild, the rocky mountain SCA and stagehand for three different theater companies, so I know everyone’s grandma and fuck me if I can tell them apart.
    • Wait
    • There’s a quilt in thekitchen, visible front hall
    • I don’t know faces but apparently I can recognize applique techniques at 40paces.
    • “…Doris? From SAQA?”
    • “YES! Who is this handsome little man?”
    • Herschel speaks enough English to know that “handsome little man” means “this person will feed me milk bones and bacon if I’m cute enough”
    • Immediately does a Sit Pretty and Shake.
    • Doris is bewitched
    • This is fine, but I also know I’m about to severely disappoint the realtor because there is no way in hell I’m moving into this House.
    • Because
    • The reason Doris is moving out is that her neighbor is a Cunt Magnifique and has been harassing Doris and everyone else to form an HOA and “improve the quality of our residents” because this woman has nothing better to do than be a racist-ass busy body, and recently, she’s set her husband, a county sheriff on Doris, trying to bully her into signing paperwork and threatening her with legal action and writing her up for bullshit property violations
    • Ain’t putting up with that shit
    • And neither is Doris, so she’s selling all her shit and moving out to live with her grandchildren in Santa Monica.
    • But she’s technologically impaired, so the only indication that there is an estate sale happening is a small paper sign in her front yard.
    • “Doris.” I say, as Herschel makes himself comfortable on the couch for belly rubs and pieces of ham. “Did you tell SAQA or FRCC or anyone on Facebook that you’re having the sale?”
    • “oh, I don’t know how to do all that!” She sighs. “I tried to call the Denver post but they just put me on hold for ages…”
    • “Watch Herschel for 20 minutes and he’s only allowed to have that one piece of ham.”
    • Pics of everything
    • Address, time and pics to Facebook, both quilt guilds she’s in, two more I have contacts for, nextdoor, and the local SCA discord for good measure.
    • It’s 12 minutes and Herschel persuaded her to give him at least three pieces of ham.
    • He is petitioning for a fourth by doing a little puppy dance on the living room rug.
    • “OK, that’s enough ham, people will be here in 10. Where is your cash box?”
    • Because apparently I’m running an estate sale today too.
    • It’s fine :)
    • There’s about 7 minutes of quiet.
    • Then
    • They DESCEND
    • The first on the scene is DeeDee, who doesn’t believe in speed limits. She’s arrived with a horse trailer. I remember that she is also moving.
    • “HI DORIS SWEETHEART WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS TODAY I WAS GOING TO TAKE ALL THIS TO THE GOODWILL HERE LET ME SET UP ON YOUR LAWN ”
    • DeeDee is 73, and has a special spiritual bond with Hello Kitty. She weighs like 98lbs, dresses exclusively in neon pink sanrio clothes and the kind of eye makeup drag queens aspire to.
    • She also speaks non-stop at a volume normally associated with jet engines.
    • Half the horse trailer is already spread out on the lawn.
    • Doris is putting price stickers on stuff
    • Herschel is trying to tear open a bag of cotton batting.
    • This, and the arrival of approximately 56 minivans, five more trucks with horse trailers and Corgi Excitement Screaming alert Cunt Magnifique that something is happening outside.
    • Madame saunters off her porch up to Doris and Demands to know what’s happening, you’re supposed to notify the neighborhood and get a permit to-“
    • Doris, surrounded by her pack of silver wolves, shouts. "OH HELLO! EVERYONE, THIS IS MARCIA. I’VE TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT MARCIA.” >:)c

    … further details in a bit I think the Vikings are here.

    ~`* SOMEONE’S GETTING FIRED!!*`~

    OK so.

    • You know those high school house parties you see in movies, where the person invites only a few friends, but those friends call their friends, and those friends call THEIR friends and soon like 500 people show up to one house and someone calls the cops and that one John Mulaney sketch with “SCATTER!” happens?
    • Old people will 100% do this too, except instead of a house party it’s an estate sale on a wednesday afternoon and when the cop shows up there are lawyers present and he is in DEEP SHIT because his wife just spent the afternoon admitting to doing a bunch of wildly illegal shit on tape.
    • So when we left off, the party had really started getting underway, because Marcia the Cunt Magnifique had decided to crash the estate sale and whine about “we’re supposed to coordinate garage sales as a neighborhood” and “your friends are blocking traffic on this cul-de-sac while nobody is home” weh weh-
    • DeeDee is about ready to throw hands but she is nowhere near the most dangerous of the Silver Silver Wolves.
    • That’s Dr. Ruth.
    • Dr. Ruth turned 99 this year and went paragliding for her birthday
    • So you understand just how hard she goes
    • Dr. Ruth sort of hobbles over and point-blank asks “So I understand you’ve been trying to start a homeowner’s association?” :3c
    • Marcia
    • Entirely misunderstanding how much danger she’s in
    • Starts enumerating the TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS of trying to start one, because SOME PEOPLE DON’T RESPECT AUTHORITY and all the paperwork and talking to people and she even had to ask HER HUSBAND. A SHERRIF. To go around and hand people stuff to sign.
    • Some people, right?
    • Dr. Ruth nods. Some people. She agrees.
    • You know.
    • Her son is a lawyer.
    • Why doesn’t she give him a call?
    • Marcia, a Moron: Oh that’d be great!
    • Dr. Ruth, hobbling back to Doris: “Don’t worry. David will handle this.”
    • Meanwhile
    • The Friends-Of-Friends and the Friends-Of-Friends-Of-Friends are arriving, lured in because they heard the words “Longarm Sewing Machine” and “Hand-made quilts”
    • Various factions present include but are far from limited to:
      -Probably Six Quilt Guilds
      -The Denver Art League
      -The Denver Leather League
      -The Vikings
      -The Klingons
      -The Colorado Wild Game Share
      -A Pack of Scientific Illustrators
      -A Pack of Assorted Scientists they brought with them
      -The Sheep Lesbians
      -The Horse Lesbians
      -Three Extremely Competent Finnish People (My Scientific Illustration Professor and her sisters) who immediately take over the estate sale and turn it into an auction to maximize profit and keep the taxes in order.
    • Someone brings two additional Corgi called “Cap” and “Bucky”
    • They are Pembroke Corgi, and weigh about 21lbs apiece
    • Herschel is a Cardigan Welsh Corgi and weighs 42lbs because he’s hug even for a Cardigan, and is Delighted with his New Minions.
    • They worship him as a God and follow him around so every time he sticks his face in something two smaller corgi faces immediately follow, like some kind of adorable cerberus.
    • Pelts and meat shares are being traded out of the backs of trucks and vans
    • Someone is making bratwurst.
    • Intrigued by the Brouhaha, Doris’ neighbors emerge.
    • They are also Geriatric and very nervous, because Marcia has been harassing them too.
    • They are telling this to the members of these factions that are also lawyers.
    • There are at least 5 of them so far and David isn’t even here yet.
    • I realize my realtor isn’t even here.
    • I decide to text her.
    • She is somewhere in the crowd and having a nervous breakdown because She’s SO LATE!!!
    • Ma'am.
    • It’s 103 out.
    • I was just handed a freshly grilled Brat
    • Some bitch is incriminating herself on the lawn.
    • Nothing scheduled is happening.
    • Come sit in the yard and watch the Corgis play on the Palyskool plastic slide set. They’re disassembling it like tiny furry engineers.
    • Have a bratwurst.
    • One of the Klingons appears, having physically carried my realtor through the crowd, and gently deposits her on the lawn before handing her a Bratwurst.
    • Diane, the Realtor, is not much older than I am, and from the preppie swaths of society that has “Never had a dog growing up” and “Didn’t Know People Could Just. Make. Blankets?” and “What is this? It’s like a hot dog but spicy?”
    • She is having a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.
    • One of the Horse Lesbians comes over and compliments Diane on her Dior handbag.
    • Diane thanks her ans compliments the apparently expensive brand scarf she has on. Do you. Know all these people?
    • Horse Lesbian explains that she’s part of the SCA,
      and what that is,
      and that why yes.
      Her girlfriend Tasha is an armorer.
      Yes like for knights.
    • More Livestock Lesbians assemble.
    • They are pulling off shirts to show off livestock and battle scars, and biceps.
    • Diane is LEARNING A LOT TODAY.
    • I am just getting everyone’s contact info and making sure Herschel does not consume his weight in bratwurst.
    • BWOOP!
    • Uh-Oh.
    • Marcia’s Husband is here.
    • I step out front.
    • He has used the siren to largely part the crowd and pull into his driveway but it has closed around him and there is No Escape.
    • He starts huffing and puffing about blocked traffic and permits and the like, but this is not his usual Can-Bully-Without-Consequences crowd.
    • These are Grandmas.
    • Veterans of the 60’s protest front who never let up.
    • He’s starting to turn bright red and looks like he’s about to cry and I’ve got my phone out to record whatever Incident is about to occur.
    • -And a Mercedes pulls up.
    • It’s David.
    • Dr. Ruth’s son.
    • The Lawyer.
    • And I emphasize that The because David is not some mere ambulance chaser.
    • David is the guy that the state sends to prosecute Corporate Fraud and Organized Crime and Other State Departments.
    • David was part of the team that took down the CO Branch of the KKK.
    • David is all of 5'4", very round and a balding little man that looks like the Dictonary Definition of “Nebbish” that moves with such intense confidence and authority that he pretty much has the Pillar Men Theme Blasting behind him at all times.
    • So when he and three other lawyers from the state’s office step out of the car
    • Mr. Sherrif goes from red to while like color-changing octopus and I am like 50% sure he shit himself.
    • Because what he and Marcia have been doing is Very,
      Very,
      Very,
      VERY,
      Fucking Illegal.
    • “mArCiA!” he garbles. “sHuT tHe fUcK uP!”
    • Marcia is standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac, having spent the last 3 hours recounting to anyone who will listen about the ‘measures she’s had to take’ and now the 5 lawyers that were here are delightedly handing over the paperwork that she had forced on Doris and her Neighbors, and pointing at all the doorbell cameras and witnesses out to the state’s top prosecutor.
    • Friends
    • I ugly laughed.
    • FOUR HOURS LATER:
      -Auction wrapped up with a solid $40K to Doris’ name plus pending sales on some of her larger furniture and antiques
    • Plus whatever David gets in damages from the county sherrif’s office.
    • Marcia and husband are fucking busted
    • Herschel spent all afternoon running around and eating snacks and is passed out on the floor
    • Diane is “meeting up with” one of the Horse Lesbians next week.
    • The sewing machine went to someone else but I did open my purse and found out Doris or someone shoved a bunch of cash in there.
    • I’m getting ice dream and going to bed.

    GODS BLESS YOU, @gallusrostromegalus​ for the absolutely BEST laugh I have had in a *WEEK*. I am SNORKING loud enough to set off car alarms in a six-block radius.

    Oh my fucking gods, I am going to be laughing about this for DAYS.

     

  7. indifferentvincent:

    image

    Full tweets & transcription under the cut.

    Original thread here.

    Keep reading

     

  8. turns-out-its-adhd:

    image

    Edit to say: it gladdens my wee little heart to hear about all the treats folks got themselves. You get that thing. Life is short and you should grab every moment of joy you can.

     

  9. archliches:

    archliches:

    speaking of america’s favorite fruit (not optional) i love applerankings.com so fucking much. absolute necessity for any real Appleheads out there

    image
    image

    you just don’t get shit like this anywhere else folks

     

  10. egberts:

    Hi, so this might be random but I haven’t seen anything about it on here and I know this is a website full of depressed people who probably use dry shampoo.

    DRY SHAMPOO RECALL

    image

    “Among 148 batches from 34 different brands of dry shampoo products, 70% of samples tested showed "quantifiable” levels of benzene.“

    These products and more are being recalled for containing cancer causing chemicals. And because of the nature of dry shampoo is to spray it in your bathroom, directly onto your head, it can linger in the air and expose you to the chemicals for longer periods of time.

    image

    "The detection of high levels of benzene in dry shampoos should be cause for significant concern since these products are likely used indoors, where benzene may linger and be inhaled for prolonged periods of time.”

    THIS IS A LINK to one article full of information, but you should probably do your own research on the subject to figure out if you currently have or have used one of these products and what to do about it moving forward.

     

  11.  
  12. plastolux:

    spaceage_addict

    Space Age 1976 Lotus Esprit S1

    #SpaceAge

    #Lotus

    #Esprit

     

  13. PSA: PLEASE MASK AGAIN.

    fittingoutjane:

    If you stopped masking, it’s time to start again, today. I’m not asking you to stay home, just to mask as well as possible, and do hand hygiene.

    In multiple communities all over the USA and Canada, every pediatric hospital bed is full, mostly with babies and toddlers who have severe respiratory infections. It seems to be a combination of flu, RSV and COVID, sometimes more than one at a time in the same child.

    We can sort out why this happened later. Right now, there’s an emergency that should be front page news, and isn’t, and the best way to stop it is to reduce the circulation of all respiratory viruses in our communities by masking everyone who can mask, before babies start dying because there isn’t enough care to go around.

    Get your current flu shot and bivalent COVID booster if you haven’t already, but also please mask now.

    Please do it for the babies! Nov 15, 2022.

     
  14.  

  15. spacelazarwolf:

    lavendroused:

    spooniestrong:

    This ABSOLUTELY works.

    I have used this for many years. Definitely b do it.

    This article was super long-winded so I screenshat the important part

    image
    image
    image

    the fact we’re responsible for getting doctors to “lower their defenses” in order to literally just do their jobs is ✨INFURIATING✨